Open the Can of Worms Anyway

Where does coaching actually happen?

Most coaches would probably answer, “During the coaching session.”

I’m no longer convinced that’s true.

The longer I coach and mentor coaches, the more I believe that the coaching conversation is not the destination of the client’s learning – it is the launching point. The session serves as a catalyst, setting in motion a process of reflection, discovery, and growth that continues long after the conversation has ended.

That belief was reinforced during a recent mentor-coaching session.

While providing feedback, I suggested that the coach consider allotting more time for Competency 8: Facilitates Client Growth. During the discussion that followed, the coach expressed concern that if they spent more time facilitating client growth, additional coaching topics might emerge, leaving too little time to adequately explore them.

In other words, they didn’t want to open a new “can of worms.”

My response was simple:

“Open the cans of worms anyway.”

The coach immediately laughed and replied, “I didn’t know I could do that.”

Then came the inevitable follow-up question.

“But wouldn’t that leave a number of topics in limbo?”

“Yes,” I replied. “And that’s okay.”

That exchange revealed something I think many coaches wrestle with.

We often feel responsible for bringing every coaching conversation to a satisfying conclusion before the hour is over. We want our clients to leave with clarity, action steps, and a sense of closure. Those are worthy goals. But sometimes our desire for closure serves the coach more than it serves the client.

What if coaching isn’t primarily about bringing closure?

What if it’s about creating momentum?

When important questions emerge during the final minutes of a session, many coaches instinctively steer away from them because there isn’t enough time to fully explore them. I would suggest the opposite.

Open the can anyway.

Acknowledge what has surfaced. You might simply say, “We don’t have time today to fully explore these new topics. I’d encourage you to spend some time reflecting on them between now and our next session.”

Then trust the coaching process.

I’ve come to believe that one of the most important disciplines in coaching is learning to trust the coaching process beyond the coaching session itself.

While meaningful thinking certainly occurs during the coaching conversation, some of the client’s most significant learning happens afterward. During the drive home. While taking a walk. In the middle of a difficult meeting. During a quiet moment of reflection days later.

Clients continue making connections.

Questions deepen.

Perspectives shift.

Awareness grows.

In many ways, the coaching session is simply the catalyst.

As coaches, our responsibility is not to solve every issue or neatly wrap up every conversation within 30 or 45 minutes. Our responsibility is to stimulate deeper thinking, invite fresh perspectives, and create the conditions for ongoing learning. Coaches sometimes assume that every meaningful insight must be fully processed before the session ends. In my experience, that’s rarely how transformational learning works.

Perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong question.

Instead of asking, “Did we finish the conversation?” perhaps we should ask, “Did we begin a process of learning that will continue after today’s session?”

That’s why I encouraged the coach to open the cans of worms.

Not to create confusion.

Not to leave the client hanging.

But because I trust that the client’s learning will continue after the Zoom meeting ended.

In fact, I genuinely hope my clients leave with ideas they continue thinking about, questions they continue wrestling with, and perspectives they continue exploring between sessions. That ongoing reflection isn’t unfinished coaching—it is coaching continuing to do its work.

I’ve become less interested in whether a coaching conversation feels complete and more interested in whether it continues to live within the client after we’ve said goodbye.

So the next time you’re tempted to avoid opening a “can of worms” because there isn’t enough time left in the session, consider opening it anyway.

You may discover that the most important coaching doesn’t happen during the session.

It happens because of it.