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Powerful Questions, Powerful Poses

April 19, 2023 By //  by Val Hastings

Young businesswoman sitting at her desk and smiling while working on a computer in an office in the late afternoon

In a previous article, I introduced Aesha Tahir and her work helping deskbound professionals get unhunched. She spoke to our coaching students about how to incorporate movement and other healthy habits into our daily lives to counter the effects of being hunched over our desks and mobile devices.

As coaches, being hunched affects not only our posture and general physical health but how we show up for our clients. Without even realizing it, we end up missing a lot of what the client is saying to us, projecting the message that we’re not really listening or present.

ICF Core Competency 2 reminds us of the importance of self-awareness. We must strive to be aware of what we’re bringing into the coaching relationship—the beliefs and perspectives that have shaped us and how those show up, including through our posture and body language.

One thing that can hunch us is a lack of confidence. This is especially true for new coaches but can affect all of us at times. That pressure to be on, to be right, to be good. Think about a time when you felt that way. Really place yourself in the situation and mindset. Do you notice a physical shift where you shrink yourself by hunching your chest?

Another fascinating link between posture and confidence was popularized by Amy Cuddy and her research into power posing. Her key finding is that adopting expansive postures causes people to feel more powerful.

Have you ever tried striking a power pose before or during a coaching call? Have you experimented with other posture strategies like walking or standing while you coach? What is the effect on your coaching?

Unhunching our posture, our body language, and our being, opens us back up to receive verbal and nonverbal information from our clients. It also opens us to our own intuition, awareness, and curiosity.

Filed Under: SELF-AWARENESS

Previous Post: « Coaches, Unhunch
Next Post: Coaching Skills for a Post-Layoff World In this time of company layoffs and restructuring, I’ve been thinking about the value of coaching skills—both for those being let go and for those staying behind. Depending on where you are in the world, and which company you work for, compensation packages and customs vary widely. In some cases, you may end up working for weeks or months after getting the news that you’ve been laid off. If you’re in this situation, and you have access to coach training, take full advantage! With an uncertain future, you’ll want to get all the support that you can. What’s more, through coach training, you also gain a significant skill set for your résumé, the job search and interview process, and your future roles. Because as was confirmed in my book about internal coaching, even if you’re not a designated internal coach, coaching skills are incredibly valuable for managers. Job loss is loss Aside from those career-related benefits, coaching can also provide an important source of emotional support for those facing layoffs. Many experts believe that we grieve job loss in similar ways that we grieve people and pets, as we pass through Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). There’s no set schedule for this process, nor we do necessarily pass through all stages in order or in a linear way. Feelings change from moment to moment and day to day. Learning how to coach and be coached reinforces that we cannot fix these feelings. There’s nothing anyone can do or say, other than to just be present and listen without judgment, and maybe ask a question or two. For those knowing they’re on the way out, it’s natural to be asking, “Why me?” Especially as they’re still actively working and engaging with the people who are staying behind (who are just as emphatically asking, “Why not me?”). Taking time for self-care Self-care is a fundamental part of coaching; it’s an entire module of our coach training program. Many people look for ways to practice self-care when they’re laid off, such as going on a vacation or retreat, or intentionally spending time with family and friends. For others, it’s very difficult to take any time off. They feel like they should be pounding the pavement and getting right back to it, even when they have no idea what it is they’re going to do next. It’s like they have a strong work ethic, often inherited from prior generations, but they don’t have a strong rest ethic. Yet as we’ve discussed many times, there is something integral about pausing to give ourselves space, especially after going through something as traumatic as job loss. That way, when you’re ready to move on, you can fully integrate your skills, and the insights and intuition that you gained from that period of rest and self-reflection. You can show up in a good place. Coaching skills are invaluable in job interviews, for example. Active listening, attention to body language and nonverbal communication, the ability to be fully present, and the curiosity to ask relevant and useful questions will all help you make a better impression and a deeper connection.»

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