“Coaching questions are a springboard. They don’t have to be perfect.”
That’s a quote from an earlier blog post, “Questionable Questions.” In it, I address the coach’s concerns about their questions being too short, too long, or too complicated.
The power of a question is not in its length or masterfully crafted words. Powerful questions are simple, short, and drawn from the moment. Think back to when you’ve been effectively coached; those are likely the ones that were most helpful. They usually, but not always, begin with one of the five w’s and one h—who, what, where, when, why, or how.
One of my students felt like her questions were too long, and that she needed to explain or reframe them. We might feel pressure to sound smart or profound, yet the most impactful questions are often the most simple. I suggested she practice asking her question and then staying silent.
Powerful or present?
Whenever you have to choose between crafting a powerful question or being present, being present is always the better choice. Just let the words come out. Be in the flow. If I’m trying to formulate a question in my head, I get stuck, and I’m pulled out of the conversation. Just start talking, and the ideas will develop.
When you’re meeting with a friend over coffee or tea, you’re in conversation together, you’re not thinking about the quality of your questions or answers. We want our client conversations to be just as natural and in the flow.
There’s nothing wrong with studying a list of questions before you coach. We all need models of what good questions sound like. But once you start coaching, put that list away. You may very well end up using one of those questions, but let it come out naturally in the moment.
How Coaching is Like Flying