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In a coach training class, one student reported that he\u2019d coached someone on his team a few days ago. Partway through the coaching conversation, he as the coach had this huge \u201ca-ha\u201d moment. \u201cI knew what she had to do,\u201d he said, \u201cAnd I was frustrated that she hadn\u2019t gotten it yet. Everything inside me wanted to say, \u2018Do this!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
He resisted, by remembering what we\u2019d talked about in coach training \u2013 we want the client to have the “a-ha”. And about three days later, that\u2019s exactly what happened. \u201cShe came back in and said, \u2018I got it! I don\u2019t know why I didn\u2019t think of this sooner.\u2019” The coach continued, by saying, “I\u2019m so glad I didn\u2019t tell her. It would have robbed her of the opportunity to have the ‘a-ha’ herself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Notice without naming<\/strong><\/p>\n There are two guiding principles of coaching at work here. One is noticing without naming. If at all possible you want the client to name it \u2013 the solution, the insight, the next steps – to claim it. It is the person who makes the discovery that owns the discovery.<\/p>\n Our job as a coach is to help our clients see, not to see for them. Let me offer an example. If I am coaching someone that is very animated and excited who suddenly becomes sullen or quiet \u2013 something has just happened. Instead of the coach naming it \u2013 which is often inaccurate \u2013 the coach can instead ask the client what just happened.<\/p>\n The real coaching happens after the coaching<\/strong><\/p>\n This is the second principle highlighted in this situation. We get so caught up in the idea that everything\u2019s got to happen in the 30-40 minutes we\u2019re with our client. Of course, it\u2019s nice when it does, but often the really important stuff happens afterward, as it did with my student\u2019s client.<\/p>\n It\u2019s after they leave you when the client lives into the insights and decisions of the session. This is when the valuable “a-ha’s” and “hmms” are translated into action, behavior, and implementation.<\/p>\n