Every Leader a Coach

Stop Putting Work First

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A multiethnic, coed group of various ages works out together outside in the early morning as the sun rises. They are doing pushups in the grass. The senior woman in front is looking at the camera and smiling.

On the theme of what I want to stop doing this year, I had an interesting conversation with my daughter about work-life balance, and she asked, “What if we switch the order?” I realized how powerful it is to put life first, even in how we describe this concept.

I used to be good at putting life first, but some work-first practices are creeping back in. We talked in a previous post about checking email (specifically work email) first thing in the morning, and how that invites other people to determine our priorities for the day.

It’s also about blocking time in my calendar—time and space for me personally, time with my family, and time with friends. I need to put those in first and then schedule work around them.

For example, I was very disciplined about scheduling time to exercise, but then someone needed to see me, and that was their only available time. The exercise got bumped, or it fell off the schedule completely.

Work is sneaking in first too often these days. And obligations, in general. I also must block out time for myself. Just me. That might sometimes look like fun activities with friends and family, and sometimes it’s solitary time raking leaves, working on my car, playing with the dog, or whatever fills my self-care well.

So, if we’re to stop putting work first in 2024, what’s our new goal? It’s fine to have professional goals, but let’s make sure there are some personal ones as well. Maybe it’s to communicate better, strengthen or rekindle a difficult relationship, or address a health concern. Or maybe your goal is to revitalize your spiritual connection, get more involved in your community, or volunteer for causes you believe in.

When you think about it, work is only one small part of life (and money, closely related, is another small part). That leaves a big part of the circle where these personal goals fit. Paying attention to these areas makes for a well-rounded, purposeful life.

Speaking of purpose, while it’s fulfilling to work towards our goals, don’t forget the importance of spending time on things just because they’re fun! In an NPR episode I was listening to about games, they defined them as the ultimate purposeless activity.

Unlike working on a car, practicing a musical instrument, or doing a jigsaw puzzle, when you’re done playing a game, it’s over. Sure, you might build up skills and advance to different levels, but you still essentially start over every time.

There was a time when I used to play a lot of card games and things like Scrabble, and I’d like to get back to that.

Another personal goal for me this year is to stop talking and listen more. It might sound strange, because I’m always curious and listening to people in my professional life. But it doesn’t always translate to my off hours. I want to take more interest in my friends and my family. Instead of just letting them ask me about myself and what’s going on with me, I want to do more of the asking.

You know that person who always makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room? Who makes you even more excited about what you’re talking about because they’re so thrilled for you? Who, even if they have their own impressive accomplishments or life events to share, always seem far more interested in hearing about yours?

That is who I want to be more of this year. How about you? Who do you want to be? More importantly, who do you not want to be, and what do you want to stop doing?